Today I had a panic attack. And it matters a lot to me that I share that with you here.
As humans we live with (or at least, ought to live with) the right to privacy, with the additional right to decide who we let in. Now don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t share 100%. I also respect you, as a stranger or friend, and your right to remain private. Opening up isn’t everyone’s burning desire.
But what happened this morning when I let people in on the slightest glimpse of how I was REALLY feeling, smack dab in the middle of the mess, was straight *magic*. If you ever decide to sidestep conventional privacy and take a lil nudge towards transparency, even if it’s simply between your mom or God, take special care to notice what happens.
Sweet friends rise above the masses to make sure you’re ok. Family holds you a bit closer. A casual walk on the sidewalk becomes a little more meaningful. Songs and quotes might speak louder to you, your experiences might hold more magnitude in the way they develop your character, and... you can be that much more honest about the help you might need.
I’m not scared to admit to my insecurities in the middle of me dealing with them because the real stuff is the good stuff. It makes us uncomfortable because it’s not what we’re used to, but all that means is it’s time to shake things up. Talk about depression in the thick of the whole dang mess. Talk about joy in the midst of it happening too. Talk about what you are feeling. Remember, cracks are how the light gets in.
I don’t know where you are and if you’re okay - or thriving! But if for some reason you are not? Let someone know and watch grace enter your mess. Acknowledge the dark, then let in some LIGHT.
More on this story to come.
Hi, I'm Chlo.
I've been writing and reading and all the storytelling things since I learned as a kid that if you fold and staple construction paper together, it sort of looks like a real book. I have always craved soul serving stories- ones that melt like butter in your mind as you hear your heart explained out loud.
This here is my home away from home. When I'm not exploring neighborhood coffeehouses, driving down the Pacific Coast (again), or loving on all my people - I'm probably here, with you. Come on in! Scroll around. I hope you feel less alone.