Everything in my life is about to change. Absolutely everything. All the comforts and communities I’ve leaned into for season upon season are either changing drastically or shifting away from my life altogether. So, when the opportunity presented itself to say a big, fearful YES at joining @co_gatech’s Summer Mission Project, God led me toward it with one initial mission: refresh my understanding of Him as firm, steadfast, and never EVER changing.
I haven’t written much lately. And I could never pinpoint the exact reason as to why I haven’t felt “convicted” to spill out words and words and words on my journal or on my phone. But what I do know is that this season has held so much calm in its arms I haven’t known what to do with my thoughts and spirit when there’s no pulling or driving force fueling me along. I accepted an incredible job. I graduated college. I celebrated beautiful friendships. I’m in love with so many people and places. And this afternoon, I felt a proverbial “the end” etching on a closing book as I drove through rural Georgia, heading home to prepare for a new life.
I can’t believe typing this is real life… I’M MOVING TO SAN FRANCISCO!!!!
To anyone who knows me in even the slightest, you’ll know that living in California has been a dream of mine for quite possibly my entire life. With family rooted all over the state, I’ve visited this city every single summer, and finding a way to not only choose a path here after college, but also find the right option for me, seemed impossible.
I’ve been told to my face that my business is soft.
Been laughed at for trying to understand code.
Been challenged by recruiters for claiming I’m ‘creative’.
Stigmatized for my Hispanic heritage, avoided for being in a sorority, and disregarded like a “sweetie” for not knowing what to charge.
And each time it stings. Each time I feel tears wallow up in my throat because God made me sensitive to mean things being said. Even asking a teacher for back-up when my family was made fun of only earned me a chuckle saying “get used to it, you’re a girl.”
It's okay to just sit a bit in this space you’re currently in. It’s hard to feel - really feel - your own unknown. Feeling the feeling waiting to be felt. Not googling one more thing, not asking one more person for advice, not going after that cope cope cope for whatever answer makes sense.
When we cope we ignore that which MUST command our attention.
And it will continue to insist on attention through however desperately we get to until we face our space head on.
Hi, I'm Chlo.
I've been writing and reading and all the storytelling things since I learned as a kid that if you fold and staple construction paper together, it sort of looks like a real book. I have always craved soul serving stories- ones that melt like butter in your mind as you hear your heart explained out loud.
This here is my home away from home. When I'm not exploring neighborhood coffeehouses, driving down the Pacific Coast (again), or loving on all my people - I'm probably here, with you. Come on in! Scroll around. I hope you feel less alone.