Two years ago today, my heart launched into a new life. And when I say new I mean N E W. New new. Regenerated. Completely.
It was Day 3 of Passion 2017. We’d been rocked to our soul’s core in music and sermons and all the things, and on top of that I’d already spent the week before at CONYC Greenville learning what the word “gospel” meant for the first time ever. Needless to say I was on a very typical, college kid Jesus high. You might know what that feels like too.
So, I’m sitting in my lil seat inside a mega arena during one of the music breaks, last day of the conference, flipping through my new “bible journal”. And I started to get mad.
Why had none of this ever stuck with me before? Every mission trip, camp, conference... I’d come home on cloud nine and within a week, nothin. I wanted to go all in, I really did! But that relationship with Jesus never stuck. It never emotionally clicked, if you will.
I proceeded to whisper a small prayer as the break came to a close. It went something along the lines of:
“Dear God. I just need something to believe in. To rest my life on and steady me when life gets rough. I’m sick of flailing in my pride. I’m ready for something firm. Ok the end.”
The next song that came on?
Build My Life, by House Fires
“And I will build my life
Upon your love
It is a firm foundation.
And I will put my trust
In you alone
And not retake it.”
OHKAY. Hah. Hahahahahha. Talk about goosebumps.
Because you see, God didn’t just take my hand alongside a new cohort of beginner believers. He didn’t laugh at how long it took me to get here. He didn’t judge, flick away, or give me a half hearted moment. He looked my own words of my own heart face on and told me where to start building.
Two years ago today will mark my soul forever. I’m still imperfect, unworthy, and I fail abiding in Him every other day.
But I got my Rock. Actually scratch that. THE STEADFAST CREATOR OF OUR UNIVERSE invited me - imperfect and unworthy me - home. Home home. A new home. A really good home. A home that could last, and would stay, and would love to have me there for the rest of my entire life.
Jesus stuck. Thanks be to God.
Hi, I'm Chlo.
I've been writing and reading and all the storytelling things since I learned as a kid that if you fold and staple construction paper together, it sort of looks like a real book. I have always craved soul serving stories- ones that melt like butter in your mind as you hear your heart explained out loud.
This here is my home away from home. When I'm not exploring neighborhood coffeehouses, driving down the Pacific Coast (again), or loving on all my people - I'm probably here, with you. Come on in! Scroll around. I hope you feel less alone.